Though there remain such options at my hand
To do much as I please and rest in You,
Knowing that the ways I walk are true,
Yours is the will I wish You would command.
My heart will lie and leave my mind unmanned,
And Yours I know is wisdom I accrue
In life and circumstances I go through.
And yet it's in this moment I now stand,
Lacking in my faith and wishing not
For simple clarity but for a sign.
Oh, why would such as You trust such as I?
Your sovereignty is not a thing You bought,
But always had, and yet the choice is mine.
You know the truth but still you won't reply.
My God, I ask You why.
Why give a fool such freedom when You know
The way my life and loves are meant to go?
Perhaps You make me grow
By loving me enough to give a choice.
Nevertheless, I wait to hear Your voice.
postscript
A caudate sonnet for Crowns of Sonnets' February Sonnet Challenge, day five: [link] I actually really enjoyed this form. Still with a sonnet structure, but a little more freedom to cover more information. And heaven knows I have a lot to say in my poetry.